There is a disconnect with registry cards, etiquette websites will tell you it’s tacky to include them, but yet you can purchase them through any wedding stationer. So, should you include them with your suite or should you leave them out? What it really comes down to is what makes sense for your wedding.
When NOT to Include
- When you have a wedding website.
- Wedding websites are a great place to put registry information and other details like accommodations with links to the hotel’s website. Simply include a card (in place of the registry card) that includes your website.
- When your invitation is formal or traditional.
- When it would offend your guests.
- When you have family that can pass along the information.
- When you aren’t registering, problem solved!
When To Include
- When you know your guests will ask, but don’t won’t have easy access to the information.
- When your invitation is informal.
- When it is culturally acceptable to include them.
- When you don’t have a wedding website.
- When you are sending out bridal shower invitations.
- The point of a shower is that you are getting gifts. Typically this registry will be your wedding registry, so two birds with one stone.
- When it fits your budget to include a card.
- I would encourage you, however, to make your insert for a wedding website instead of a registry card. Wedding websites are typically free and are easy to set up!
This naturally leads to the next topic of “Honey Funds” or asking for money instead of gifts. This is where the line is a little more firm in the etiquette world. Basically you are telling your guests that all you want is money. While I understand that this really isn’t the case, but it may be how it comes across to your guests. Again, the easy solution for this is to include the information on a wedding website. That way if you are doing something like a Honey Fund or are setting up an account at a bank you can easily include links to the websites. If a website is out, and the only option is a card there are some wording options that are a bit better than, “please give us money.” If we include such a card with an invitation we word them on a case by case basis as the circumstances are always unique. There are a bunch of poems and things floating around the web, but my advice if you are thinking about using one of these is to make it personal. Using a stock poem is about the same as straight up asking for money, because that is really what you are doing, just with flowery wording. Keep them simple, tell your guests why (you have lived together a long time or your dream is to travel the world), and leave it at that… Or again, put it on a website!